Cancer, Depression and Faith

Is it possible to have faith and still be depressed?

Savannah is struggling with her recent diagnosis, her doubts and the struggle with her faith. She was a church girl who attended church all of her life and has always had her faith in tact. A few weeks ago, Savannah was diagnosed with breast cancer and recently began chemotherapy. She was optimistic as she tapped into her faith believing that she was going through a phase which was just a setback in her health. Interestingly, Savannah was engaged to her longtime boyfriend Karl and was looking forward to planning their wedding. She had her bridal magazines, her pen and her daily planner, along with her iPad to work on during her chemotherapy treatments. She was all prayed up and was encouraged by the survivor stories that she had heard.

The one thing that she was not prepared for was how awful and weak she would feel after treatment. She heard from other survivors who said that they had treatment during work hours (lunch) and continued to work through their treatment. She knew that she would not be able to work, at least not now. She worried that she would not be able to make it through her treatments. Slowly, the doubts began to build up.

Savannah questioned her faith. She prayed, she had prayer warriors praying for her. She believed in the power of prayer but now she with every treatment, she felt weaker and weaker. Her hair began to fall out in clumps, the texture of her skin changed and she no longer answered her phone or respond to the text messages from her family, friends and coworkers. Although she would check in on her social media accounts, she no longer posted or engaged with others. She broke down and cried while looking at the photos of others having a great time. She became emotionally overwhelmed when she saw some photos of her friend Char’s husband celebrating her birthday. It was an extravagant affair, he surprised her and all of their family and friends were there. Savannah was invited and had planned to attend. She RSVP’d well in advance of her cancer diagnosis. Now, here she was watching life go on without her. She wondered whether she would see another birthday. Would she marry her best friend? Will they be able to have a family?

Karl was there for her reassuring Julia that they will get married. He wanted her to be his wife as she was the love of his life. He believed that she would be healed. He prayed and trusted in his prayers. He noticed that Savannah was not like herself. She was outgoing, ready to hang out with their friends and now she was often in bed, the curtains drawn, watching movies and checking on her friends by looking at their social media posts. She rarely responded to the friendly check in from her friends on her page even though she read them.

Determined to make Savannah feel better, Karl encouraged her to seek counseling. She reluctantly agreed. She began to question whether going to counseling meant that she was not trusting or believing in God. She wondered if she would be judged for her lack of faith. Savannah knew that she was not feeling like herself but wondered if she got back into her social circles, church and getting out more often – she would begin to feel better. However, Karl convinced her that counseling would be great for her. In fact, he offered to go with her and sit in with her whenever she needed him.

Although the counseling helped, the feeling of failing to have faith lingered. Savannah has completed her treatment and is waiting for the results. She hopes that it will be all clear. She is looking forward to moving forward with her life and marrying her best friend – Karl.