family – Page 2 – SOLUTIONS Cancer Resource Center, Inc.

June 13, 2021

Lessons from summer 2020 looking forward to summer 2021

Summer is almost here and after the summer of 2020, the anticipation to get back to normal is at its peak. While some folks are fully vaccinated, there are some who have not taken that step. It’s a personal decision that must be carefully considered. Whatever the choice, we must proceed with caution.

Last summer, we were happily home bound. The lock down gave us the opportunity to take a look around and make the best of our situation. It was time to make our home the place to be – we ordered potted plants for the porch, headed out to the nursery and purchased more indoor plants, planted vegetables in the garden, cleaned up the birdbath, added a sprinkler and some plants in it and watched the birds and squirrels gather around it to hangout. We put out the hammocks and chairs in the backyard, painted bricks and rocks, and had a field day ordering everything online (groceries, food delivery, household items, etc.). We would put our masks on and go for walks around the neighborhood. We read our books, watched movies and documentaries, listened to music, danced, worked out, had long conversations, and occasionally enjoyed breakfast or lunch while we sat on the porch. It was a great way to appreciate and enhance our home life experience.

We created themes for our backyard barbecues and brunches. We would order the items on line and then we would be in Hawaii, or somewhere in the Caribbean. Normally, we would go out to a restaurant with the family to celebrate birthdays or anniversaries but this time, we were setting up with balloons and animated themes – it was all sort of wonderful.

This summer, we are doing more of the same. While we may occasionally venture out, we will definitely enjoy the oasis that we have created at home. We also created a spot we call The Healing Center – it has plants and flowers. We go there to meditate, give thanks or just sit quietly. It is a very small narrow space, yet it is there where we are often treated to the songs of the birds as they serenade us, while surrounded by nature. It’s a complete vibe.

Summer 2021 is almost here and the anticipation to get back to the pre-pandemic stage is already evident. People are out and about, it’s only natural that we want to be able to mingle and flow freely as we once did. However, if you or someone you love immune’s system is compromised due to an illness or treatment, it is extremely important to protect and guard yourself whether you are fully vaccinated or not. Find ways to enhance your time. The pandemic served as a reminder to make the best of our situation. It was the time where we became master chefs, bakers, interior designers, gardeners, painters, artists – making the adjustments to continue to enjoy life the best way that we can. Let us raise our glasses, cheers to a fun filled safe summer 2021!

January 25, 2021

New Year! What’s The Plan

We’re well into the first month of the 2021 with COVID19 and the new strains of the virus, schools are shutting down due to positive cases, many places of businesses have closed, people are working from home, millions are unemployed, yet there has been a sense of hope for a turn around in 2021.

The COVID19 Vaccine offers an optimism from researchers, medical professionals as well as the general population at large. While Pfizer and Moderna are currently being administered to various members of the population, Moderna is working on a booster shot for the new South African strain of the virus. Not that we need this in our lives right now, but the new strain of the virus in the United Kingdom is reported to be even more deadly.

We all want to go back to living our lives the way we used to, but alas, here we are adjusting to this new way of life and quietly praying for things to get better real soon. It’s important that we adhere to the simple guidelines as suggested by the Center for Disease Control;

Wear a mask to protect yourself and others and stop the spread of COVID-19.
Stay at least 6 feet (about 2 arm lengths) from others who don’t live with you.
Avoid crowds. The more people you are in contact with, the more likely you are to be exposed to COVID-19.

One thing for certain, 2021 can be the year we use the experience of the countless lives lost to the virus, to adhere to the guidelines. Let’s make every effort to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe by doing everything we can to prevent the virus as far away as possible.

So what’s the plan?

Prevent getting sick

June 30, 2020

Cancer and Coronavirus

The challenge of cancer during a pandemic

Summer is here and what a year it has been. We are half way through the year and as it was just a mere six months ago when everyone who endured the winter season, looked forward to the warm weather and just before Spring arrived, we were faced with a terrifying virus that caused the country to ask their citizens to shelter in place while they figured out how to contain the coronavirus.

Everything changed within a matter of days. The number of cases climbed so high as hundreds of people were dying daily, then it was thousands and the hospitals were overwhelmed. New York was preparing for the worst using every resource available, including make shift hospitals in Central Park and the Jacob Javits Center. The Navy Hospital Ship Comfort came to help with the non-covid patients as the hospitals were running out of space and could not accommodate their regular level of patients.

It was just too much to take in. The news coverage was focused on hearing from the healthcare experts, while they too figured out how to address this relatively unknown monster. First, they said, just wash your hands and avoid touching your face, you’ll be just fine if you follow these simple rules. “Don’t wear a mask!” they emphasized, “Leave that to the health professionals.” We quickly learned that the advice was not enough. They initially thought it was most likely going to affect the elderly and immunocompromised – until it was not the case. The death rates were highest among the minority population, but make no mistake, people from all ages and races were dying. Yet, while all this was going on, some people pushed back and refused to take COVID-19 seriously they failed to adhere to the precautionary and safety measures. Somehow, it became about their constitutional rights.

However, for those with cancer, the concern is grave. What about the treatments? Will it affect my chance at survival? Can I go to the hospital for treatment? Will I catch the virus if I go to the hospital or my doctor’s office? How will I get there? Do I have a chance at all? Cancer patients are most vulnerable during treatment and cannot afford to be exposed to anything, not even the common cold. The body needs to work on regaining its health and as it is literally in the fight for life mode, the last thing it needs is to contract a virus, especially the coronavirus.

The plea to all is simply, wear a mask. Avoid large crowds, stay home, stay safe, try to keep your loved ones free from exposure even if you don’t feel sick or have any symptoms, you may be a carrier. In the event that you do not live with your family or have no plans to visit, be mindful that there are others who are merely trying to keep themselves and their loved ones safe.

In the meantime, for the cancer patient, avoid going out unless it is absolutely necessary this summer. Stay home, wash your hands whenever you are handling anything from the outside, clean it off. Disinfect your your door knobs, the handles or the area where you open and close the refrigerator door, your toilet handle, the faucet knobs/handles, any area where others may have touched the surfaces, you want to keep your environment clean. If you have a backyard, go out and plant some flowers, vegetables or plants. Read a good book, watch some movies or binge watch your favorite shows, try out some new shows. Be creative, cook, draw, paint, bake, write, join an online group that features your favorite hobby, watch some things of interest on YouTube. Whatever it takes to keep you occupied, take this time to make the best of being indoors. Most importantly, wear a mask, even when you are home and someone comes to visit.

Summer 2020 will come and pass, make it a safe and enjoyable one.

October 3, 2019June 30, 2020

The Guilt of Being A Caregiver to Someone You Should Love

It can be difficult caring for a loved one who is ill – more so when the loved one shows no love

I never thought of myself as a caregiver. I just knew that I had to be there to take care of my mother. She was going through a rough time facing lung cancer, it was rough for the both of us. I am mixed with emotions. My mother and I did not have a good relationship. She was a mean woman who yelled at me as long as I can remember for just about everything. Here I am dropping everything, canceling plans with my friends, spending time with a woman who rarely showed me any love. I’m still not sure that she even loves me. I am taking her to her doctors appointments, helping her to get dressed and undressed, making sure that she has her favorite foods, spending time with her and she is still nasty and mean. She is never satisfied. She is always complaining. She wants a cigarette, I say no and she calls me an evil bitch.

My life is now filled with resentment, I want to walk away. I want to leave her, for her to see what it is like to be alone with no one there to deal with her misery. I resent that my friends try to empathize with her, suggesting that it’s because of her illness. No, it is not. If she was a nice person when I was a kid then I would understand that might be the case, but she’s such a nasty person before lung cancer.

One night, the phone rang. I noticed that it was my mother calling, I looked at it while it rang. I am trying to decide whether I should answer her call. I am so angry at her for needing me.

Lia Y

Caregiver

excerpt from upcoming book The Day That Changed My Life – Cancer an uncertain journey

October 2, 2019

The Day That Changed My Life – Cancer & Marriage

Pamela and Mark’s journey

We have been married for eight years with three kids. This was my first marriage and Marks second marriage. Mark was diagnosed with prostate cancer. It was a hell of a time. Mark was scared but instead of talking about it he withdrew. There was often tension in the house. I took Mark to all of his appointments, he hardly spoke a word. I made sure that he had everything he wanted and still he never even said thanks. Mark became very cranky; the gentle soft spoken man that I had fallen in love with had become impatient especially with the kids. It felt as though he resented us being there and I knew I had to do something about it. It was not easy, as a matter of fact; I almost did not go through with it. One night when Mark was in his office, I went in and told him that we needed to talk. I told him that he needed to change his attitude especially with the kids. Mark just stared at me and then I had to take it a bit further. I told him that I did not know him anymore; he was not the same thoughtful, kind loving or gentle man. All we wanted to do was be there for him, we all loved him and were happy to be there and do whatever we could for him. I told him that he had become cranky and that he was pushing us away and if he did not change we will go away.

That night as we were in bed, Mark finally spoke. He told me that he was afraid. He was afraid of losing me, not being able to be there for me or the kids, he was afraid of dying.

Sometimes it’s difficult to express or share how one is feeling. Couples have shared how tough it can be trying to be a part of the process knowing that he or she can never truly feel what their loved one is going through. In some cases, the spouse, lover or partner finds the diagnosis to be too much to handle and they leave. However, there are those who really want to be there through it all. Communication is very important. Find a counselor or a support group.

(An excerpt from the upcoming book The Day That Changed My Life – cancer an uncertain journey)

January 30, 2019

The Day That Changed My Life – Documentary Tour

After losing my brother to cancer 4 weeks and 4 days from his diagnosis date, I am on a mission to get cancer awareness out to the communities with a special emphasis on the underserved population. The goal is to have cancer screenings of the documentary as well as a book tour to discuss the importance of prevention, early detection, paying attention to the signals and symptoms that our bodies often sends us, knowing our health history and more.

The documentary The Day That Changed My Life – cancer an uncertain journey is an exploration into the lives of those who have been touched by cancer. It is a moving, inspiring and uplifting journey and has had multiple showings in the theater. Hear the stories from the perspective of the parents, the children, the best friend, the clergy, the healthcare team and most importantly – the cancer patient.

The book tour may be separate and it will be similar to the screenings as it will not only be held at a typical book store, but libraries, cancer support groups, college campuses – specifically targeting social workers, psychology and health professional students, church health ministry departments, book clubs, etc. The books can be made available at the screenings as well.

Please let me know if you are interested and open to joining me on my mission by hosting a viewing or book discussion. Moving forward with bringing cancer awareness in 2019. Are you on board?